#5 Decision making
“Then we will no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit” (Eph 4:14) . This verse follows Paul's discussion on the body of Christ. He states that we are to “walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us” (Eph 4:1b-3). He goes on to say that gifts of the Spirit were given to us "for the training of the saints in the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ” (Eph 4:12). When we are growing believers, we are no longer infants and so are not going to be tossed back and forth by the waves and blown here and there by the wind. I often see Christian women who are blown by the wind, rather than led by the Spirit.
First of all, there are those who change their minds constantly. It has a lot to do with emotions and feelings. It can have a lot to do with having too many irons in the fire. The truth that I can base this on is that God does not change. Numbers 23:19 is just one of many Scripture references that state that this is true: “God is not a man who lies, or a son of man who changes His mind. Does He speak and not act, or promise and not fulfill?”
If God does not change His mind, then why do we as women, feel it is okay to constantly change our minds depending on our emotions or feelings? We need to sit down and really spend time with the Father, hear his voice and follow through on what He tells us to do. If we have not met with God on a subject, then we need to do so. Many women wait to see how they feel before they make a decision. That is why men see us as being wishy-washy. How would we feel if every other day, God changed His mind on what He had planned for us? It is amazing to me that anyone ever takes women seriously.
Not only do many of us change our minds, but sometimes we avoid the whole thing by not making a decision. The classic example goes something like this: I call a woman to lead a workshop at a conference. She needs time to pray about it and work out the details, that is a given. She can't decide what she's going to speak on. The message I have given is clear that I must know a certain amount of time in advance and that I will need her title, description and handouts by a designated date. Now I want us to remember that God does or does not want her to speak and if He does, then He already knows what she is to speak on and what she will need. When she does not have her info ready, she tries to convince me that God has not told her yet. It is not God's fault. It is hers. The problem is that she has not spent time with God on that subject long enough to get with His plan. We should not be tossed by the wind or blown by the waves. We need to sit with God, get his plan, commit to it and go with it.
Secondly, many women tend to feel without thinking. Sometimes we even talk without thinking. We are blown by the circumstances around us. We may say, feel and even do whatever comes to our minds. That puts us on shaky ground and can create a storm of its own. Without time spent with the Lord on a daily basis, we leave our lives subject to the winds that blow by. Some of these winds can be cool and even fun. We have not gotten God's perspective on the situation because we are caught up in the emotion of the whole thing. Unless we have anchored ourselves to the Rock of Christ, we will be blown and tossed in every direction. If the only way the enemy can get to us is to blow us around a little bit, we can bet that He will.
The lack of self-esteem is another reason women are wishy-washy. Women can feel a strong sense of inadequacy and therefore, change their tune with every passing wind. Look at the fashion trends out there. The fashion industry tells you that reds are back in style and what does everyone do? They run out and buy something red. What does God think about that? Well, he hasn't changed on the subject. The bottom line is, you won't know until you sit down and ask Him. You won't know until you are more concerned with what God thinks than what man thinks. Look at Galatians 1:10, “For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ” . We must ask God to help us to not be tossed by the winds of fashion or the winds of the world, but be led by the Spirit of God to please Him alone. When we tap into His purpose for our lives, we learn that we can be secure in Him.
